Welcome to Nether Fondle, the epitome of British intelligence, stoicism, fair play and stupidity! Also home to the rare Dervish ducks.
Meet Reverend Righteous Cresswell, local historian and minister of the church of St Agnetha of the Blonde Hair.
Rub Shoulders with Sid Vertigo, manager of Nether Fondle Rovers, hoping for victory following the signings of Wayne Penalty, Pierre Roberspierre and Sloan Grainger.
Enjoy cultural evenings with novelist Shelby Staircase, poet Middleton Crisp and opera singer Madame Jen Italia.
Visit Hemlock Castle, home of the sugar baron Sir Fester Granule, hereditary Laird of the Clan McMoosiesen.
There so much to see and do in Nether Fondle. Now twinned with Royston Vasey.
With apologies to Charlie the goose, two unidentified religious gentlemen, Therry Henry and Zinadine Zedane, my great grandmother Mary Mills and Appley Tower at Ryde Isle of Wight.
[Book now available to download from Amazon]